I am dating a recovering alcoholic
I am a 34 year old straight woman in an open marriage with a 39 year straight man.I have taken far more advantage of the openness of our marriage than my husband, at least until recently.My mother is the one having long talks with my husband at night, or going to a nice restaurant with him or the theatre and I am at a grubby pub every night with my alcoholic lover.I have started stalking them, sitting in the car down the street from our house, drinking vodka from the bottle, and watching them come out hand in hand to play tennis in the courts down the street or go out to dinner.My husband would be disgusted with the way I have let myself go and would probably refuse to have sex with me but he’s happily screwing my mother now and enjoying her perfect body. I would love to put an end to their happy little relationship.
My husband, who is also handsome and fit, looked like he was happier than I had ever seen him.It sounds to me like you left him, slowly, on the installment plan, and then he decided to hasten the end by setting everything on fire, including the bridges. When you agreed to an open marriage, did you both envision a situation where either or both of you would move out for long periods of time?And, maybe there’s a reason you never want to be at home where he is lately? ) I have so many questions, like, do you hang out, ever? What does “normal” or “the desired outcome” for your marriage look like to y’all? Is there a compelling reason to stay married to him, beyond say, the legalities or force of habit?My gut says he/they did it on purpose so that you’d find out that way instead of telling you like the “consenting adults” they’ll condescendingly and repeatedly remind you that they are when you do eventually confront them.B) In between all the references to “her perfect body” and you pining for the companionable life of long talks and theatre visits you’ve lost, there’s the fact that this has been going on long enough for her to move into your house… That doesn’t mean his choices are your fault – I don’t know how your open marriage works or what ground rules you set but I’m pretty sure he owed you at least one direct “” this is a case of some deep, deep incompatibility and disconnection between the two of you. Did he know whether you ever wanted to come back from living with this most recent dude?